


But If You Had To Pick?

by theianitor



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 06:46:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6318826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theianitor/pseuds/theianitor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few of the drivers get together for drinks, and end up discussing some truly difficult choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But If You Had To Pick?

\- 2013 -

Daniel loved people. Happy people, specifically. He loved the energy of a good party where everyone was enjoying themselves; where people laughed and talked and shared a bit of time with each other. Where nobody really cared about work and serious stuff, but everyone was just... happy. He loved getting a few people together for a couple of beers, just to chill and hang out. So inviting a bunch of the drivers to his room to watch a movie and have a couple of drinks was a really good idea. Also, it was a chance to get to know each other better, which was always fun.

The action movie that had been selected for the evening via a system of fair voting turned out to be pretty bad, and soon enough they were having fun making jokes about it rather than watching it. Daniel had probably bought too much beer, but he figured everyone knew their limits – it wasn’t a rowdy sort of gathering after all. The hero in the movie had to face a moral dilemma, which sparked a conversation regarding difficult choices.

“Is never that difficult though. There is an obvious good choice.” Perez stated confidently.

“Yeah, in the movie, but in real life...” Paul started.

“In real life nobody would force you to choose between two bad things or they’d shoot you. You could just refuse, get shot, and it wouldn’t matter.” Chilton opened another beer.

“Dark.” Hulk said, causing Esteban to start laughing at the disgruntled look on Max’s face.

“Okay, but let’s say you _have_ to choose between two bad things. Like the punishment for not choosing isn’t death, it’s something way worse. So you _have_ to pick.” Daniel said, and everyone seemed to be looking at him. He had an uncanny ability to draw every eye in the room.

“What is worse than death?” Jev asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care, that’s not the important bit.” Jev looked like he was about to argue against this and Daniel cut in before him. “Like say it’s your own personal hell or something, it’s worse than death. So there is no not picking.” Jev’s eyes narrowed and Daniel could see he was trying to think of a loophole.

 

“Alright, so difficult choices then.” Daniel tried to think of something funny. “Would you rather marry your teammate or never take pole, ever?”

Raucous laughter erupted. Trust Daniel to think of something absolutely insane to ask.

“We are already close enough to married.” Jev scoffed to general agreement.

“You can win without having pole.” Valtteri stated pragmatically.

“Yeah I wouldn’t want to marry Pastor either. Nor Adrian!” Paul laughed. Hulk theatrically dropped down on one knee and raised his beer to Esteban.

“Esteban Gutierrez, will you do me the honor of being my husband? Together, we will take all the poles!” Max and Sergio were laughing so hard they were crying, Esteban looked like he was about to fall off his chair.

“Can you imagine the Vettel-Webber wedding?!” Paul was howling. “At least it’d be a short affair, they could probably have the funeral on the same day!”

 

The laughter soon calmed down a little and Jev could see Daniel was racking his brain for another question. He saved him the trouble.

“Okay, would you rather...” he started, and continued when he was satisfied that he had everyone’s attention “... get sucked off by a fellow driver _in private_... or get sucked off by a hot girl... in public?” Hulk had narrowed his eyes, Esteban blushed, and Dan looked like he was chewing the inside of his cheek. Valtteri and Paul had equally stunned looks on their faces.

“How public?” Hulk finally asked.

“Before the formation lap, in the pitlane, on racing Sunday.” Jev said with a smirk. Sergio choked on a mouthful of beer.

“So pretty bleedin’ public then.” Paul commented. “Sign me up for a private session.” Laughter erupted.

“Really?” Dan asked.

“Too fucking right! I don’t need pictures of my naked arse plastered all over, there’s not a girl in the world hot enough! If I get on with one of you lot, at least I can keep it private.”

Valtteri nodded thoughtfully as if agreeing, Sergio still looked doubtful, as did Max. Dan laughed.

“I’ll do you if you do me then mate?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Paul, who burst out laughing again.

“Deal. And no telling!” The others were laughing as Paul and Dan shook hands, jokingly sealing their contract.

 

“So you two have already chosen, but if you had to sleep with another driver, who, and why?” Jev asked.

“I never said sleep with! We were just doing each other to keep it out of the press.” Daniel objected.

“Right, so now I’m not good enough for you?” Paul said with a mock-pout.

“Well who would you pick then, Daniel?” Jev pointedly stressed Daniel’s name, batting his eyelashes at him.

“Uhm, well, like, I don’t know.” Hulk laughed at how uncomfortable Daniel suddenly seemed.

“Now this one _is_ easy. There are a limited number to choose from, and some of those choices are... just bad.” Max said confidently.

“Okay then Chilton, what’s the easy choice then?” There was a measure of challenge in Paul’s voice, and Max seemed to lose his nerve a little when he realized he’d put himself on the spot.

“Well... eh...”

“I think Nico would be a fair choice.” Daniel piped up. There was some laughing, and Hulk looked him over, one eyebrow raised.

“Not you!” Daniel added. “Rosberg. He’s almost pretty enough to be a girl, I’d just turn the lights down and...”

“How romantic.” Jev said, rolling his eyes.

“Alright then, who does a romantically inclined Frenchman choose?”

“I already said! We are close enough to married already.” He winked at Daniel, who had the decency to blush. They both turned to Valtteri, who was sitting on Daniel’s left.

“What?” He asked after they had been looking at him for a little while.

“Who’d you pick?” A pink tinge came to Valtteri’s cheeks, not unlike how he usually looked when he was faced with a camera and a microphone during race weekends.

“Eh...”

“You should pick Kimi!” Valtteri looked at Daniel like he had sprouted an extra head.

“Why..?”

“Same language!” Daniel grinned. “And it’d be kept _really_ quiet.”

“Kimi is probably a pretty good choice actually.” Max said thoughtfully. “I mean, he’d never spread it around.”

“Do you not think he is... you know?” Sergio waved his hand, looking for a word. He said something in Spanish to Esteban, who snickered.

“Like does strange things in bed?” He tried to explain, and Sergio nodded.

“Oh, you mean like he’s freaky?” Daniel translated. “I guess that’d fit. He’s really private, got to be keeping secrets. You’re right, don’t pick him mate, bad choice.”

“Wasn’t my choice!” Valtteri protested to general laughter.

 

“Jenson.” Paul threw out.

“Why?”

“He’s just... nice. And if the rumors are anything to go by, he’d know what he was doing.” The Scot grinned. Jenson was a flirty person, and there was gossip connecting him both to women and men, even to some fellow drivers; nobody seemed to know if any of it was true however. “Don’t want anyone who’d just waste my time.” Everyone laughed again. Daniel nodded thoughtfully, but whether the nod was to confirm that there _were_ rumors or to acknowledge any truth to said rumors, nobody knew.

Paul considered his choice made, and turned his eye to Esteban, who was sitting next to him. Esteban made an effort to ignore him.

“You don’t have to ask him, we got married in the first question.” Hulk laughed, putting an arm around Esteban. The Mexican just smiled, shyly shifting his gaze to the floor.

“Alright Max, stop stalling. Who’s the easy choice you were talking about earlier?”

“Well now I don’t know anymore, you’re picking them off left and right!” They all laughed. “If we exclude everyone I wouldn’t even consider, then we’re left with... Vettel, I suppose. Maybe Fernando, but... no, Vettel.”

“So either way, you’d be with a world champion?” Jev pointed out. “It sounds like you are thinking of your career.”

“So?” Max said defensively. “You didn’t say the choice couldn’t be strategic. Besides, Jenson’s a champion too.” He indicated Paul.

“That’s not why I picked him though, my reasons were perfectly noble. But fine, you’d try to screw your way to the top. What about you then, Checo?” Paul turned to the last person in the room.

“I promise to let you all know what the thing worse than death is.” Sergio grinned and they all laughed.

 

Conversation kept going, weaving both into more and less serious topics. After a while Daniel announced he was getting tired and would they all go home, please. They all cheerfully bid each other good night, everyone heading back to their own hotel rooms, except Jev who said he’d stay and help Daniel clean up after the “animals”. As soon as Daniel had closed the door he turned to Jev.

“Hulk and Este.” He said with a broad grin. Jev sighed and rolled his eyes again.

“You think everyone is fucking! Sometimes, Daniel, you are like a teenage girl.”

“Well those two definitely are doing it mate, you can’t tell me you didn’t see that?”

Jev huffed, crossing his arms. He agreed, but he didn’t want to tell Daniel that. Daniel walked over and gave him a hug. Jev stubbornly kept his arms crossed over his chest.

“Come on.” Daniel coaxed, kissing Jev on the cheek. “Say it.” He kissed his nose. “Tell me I’m right...” He kissed him on the lips. Jev finally hugged him back.

“Fine, they are doing it.” They kissed again and Dan was looking so happy with himself that Jev thought he might burst. “You are still acting like a teenage girl.” He huffed.

“Yeah.” Dan agreed. “It’s fun to watch ’em squirm though. And you love me.”

“I do love you.”

Daniel looked around. There were beer bottles perched on most available surfaces. Nobody had gotten especially drunk, but with eight people drinking it still added up to quite a mess.

“So you gonna help me clean up?” Jev shot him an incredulous look.

“No, I said that so they would leave. I’m going to bed.” Daniel sighed, but soon followed Jev into the bedroom. Cleaning could wait.

 

\--

 

Nico, Esteban, and Paul were all heading to the same floor. Nico had his arm over Esteban’s shoulders and they all kept talking in the elevator going up. When Paul was about to leave for his room, Nico couldn’t hold his tongue any longer.

“Are Jev and Daniel..?” Paul started laughing.

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

 

                      - - The End - -

**Author's Note:**

> All in good fun. ;)  
> Thanks for the read!


End file.
